“Tell me she’s joking, Helga.”

Helga, Reggie and I were standing outside the employee canteen, after I had been shepherded out under a barrage of objections and questions from my new coworkers. I was still frazzled from the experience. The last time I had experienced that level of overstimulation was when the ad screens on my old station glitched while I was walking down a corridor. The cacophony of color and noise felt very similar to what just happened in the canteen. 

Bracing my arm against the wall, I took deep, slow breaths to try to calm down. “What was that? What did I say?”

Helga huffed. Her arms were crossed, and she wore a similarly cross expression, glaring down at Reggie. “What under the Wanderer’s eyes made you think it was okay to dig into a newcomer’s background after I told you she was qualified?”

“Because she said eleven years, Helga!” Reggie replied, gesturing in my direction. “Who could believe that?”

Helga shook her head. “She said that after you started prying. Don’t try to pretend–”

“What are you talking about?” I asked, hearing my voice grow louder. Add ‘being talked around’ to the list of things I hated. “I was telling the truth, why did everyone react like that?”

Reggie looked at me like I’d grown a third horn. “You just said you started working at ten years old. No one in their right mind would hire a child to be a ship mechanic.”

“Wh… Everyone starts at ten,” I said. “I just did what the Department of Labor’s occupational aptitude tests said I should do.”

“Casey,” Helga warned. I shot her a frustrated look back. I was not going to have what I said policed just because she thought it was a bad idea. What happened to ‘tell my story’?

“Department of… The government started you that early?” Reggie asked, her own voice beginning to raise. She seemed more appalled than angry. “Helga, did you know about this?” 

“If you’re wondering if I asked Casey directly when she started working, I hadn’t,” Helga responded. “But I knew every Ulthean starts working at ten, and they stay in that profession until they croak. She really has been working that long.”

“You’re joking,” Reggie said, looking between the two of us. “All of Ulthea. This isn’t a prank?”

“Yes! Why would I lie about that?” I asked, exasperated. How was this so hard to grasp for her? 

“Because that’s… that’s just horrible!” Reggie said. Now her face radiated concern and pity.  “Why would they make you do that?”

I leaned against the wall and sighed. My legs might have been held up by robotics, but what I didn’t expect was how tired my core would get holding my torso upright. “Because that’s how things are. It’s just when we start working. Is… is everything about my life going to be interrogated like this? I’m fine. I did my part like everyone else.”

“I’m sorry, Casey. I should have said something sooner,” Helga said. I think she could tell by my face how overwhelmed I was getting. “The Ultheans I’ve met were already sick of talking about it by the time I came to know them. It didn’t occur to me that you wouldn’t have those same filters yet.”

“Wait, but…” Reggie said. She still looked concerned. “Is Ulthea really like that? Why aren’t more people talking about it?”

“Because if you make enough noise, you get squashed,” Helga said. “They know when people talk, and It’s cheaper for them than starting a galactic war. Their boundary doesn’t end where it says on the maps.”

Reggie paled, and I looked down in shame, remembering the articles I had read not so long ago. This new perception of the place I was from was still hard to grapple with. How did I not see it? Was I just kidding myself the entire time I lived there? At the same time, what could I have done? If Ulthea could even eliminate dissenters from outside its territory, I wouldn’t have had a chance if I spoke up. In fact, I didn’t, until I escaped with Benni.

The conversation had stalled at that revelation. It was clear Reggie didn’t know what to say, and I had been stuck in my head. Helga was still glaring at Reggie, or maybe was just looking at her, it was hard to tell. I decided to speak up.

“I know… Ulthea isn’t a good place,” I started, still staring at the floor. “I get that things are very different there, but it’s not something I can help. At some point, if people want, I can answer some questions, but right now, I’m hungry and tired. Are we done?”

I looked up at Reggie and Helga. Reggie rubbed the back of her neck and looked away. Helga nodded. “We’re done,” she said, then turned to the Chief Engineer. “Just tell the team to go easy on her. If they ask her about Ulthea, and she says she doesn’t want to talk about it, that’s it. Okay? I won’t tolerate any more than that.”

“Yes, Sir,” Reggie said. Sir? Helga didn’t comment on it. “I’ll make sure they know.”

And that was that. Reggie re-entered the canteen first. Helga and I followed behind after a few seconds of awkwardly avoiding each other’s gaze. Well, after a few seconds of me avoiding her gaze. Instead of heading back to the Engineering table, we got some food in boxes, and I was led out again. 

“You said you were tired. Let me show you to your room, and you can eat there in peace,” she said, and once again, that was that.

Not that I was looking for more conversation. I already didn’t talk much before all this happened. There’s knowing how to be polite, ask people about themselves, and hold a conversation, and then there’s being talkative. I was the former. Even with Nate, he would often be holding up about eighty percent of each conversation we had, but I think he enjoyed it. For my part, I could ask questions, lose track of what he was talking about, refocus, find a key word, and ask another. My brain often just wandered off, making a hundred random connections until coming to a conclusion that was lightyears away from the current conversation.

My vision went blurry, and I wiped the tears away. Nate. Couldn’t keep thinking about him. There wasn’t any good that would come of it. I looked around, trying to find anything to distract myself with. Helga was taking me through a part of Brock Station that I hadn’t seen before, which wasn’t too hard to do. We had taken an elevator down to get here. It was a corridor, of course, and ring shaped as well. Doors were spaced along the walls with consideration as to what side of the ring they were on. Slightly more space on the inside, and the inverse for the outside. Each door had a nameplate to the left, with names that I of course didn’t recognize. I still read each one, doing anything to keep my mind busy. Finally, we came to one that said ‘C. Black’.

“Oh!” I said. “How long has that been there?”

“Since I decided not to scrap your ship,” Helga joked. “Just hit that button and go on in, the bio sensors know it’s you.”

I pressed a smallish, square button underneath the nameplate, and the door slid open. Inside was a pretty standard station dorm. Bed, desk, lavatory. A closet was inset next to the bathroom door, and came pre-stocked with more jumpsuits. I turned to Helga with an expression of confusion. 

She shrugged. “Can’t wear the same one every day.”

“Well yeah, I know that. It’s just more than I’m used to. They’re even embroidered,” I said, touching the name badge on the right breast. I looked up at Helga. “Is that gonna take much out of my paycheck?”

“Huh? Oh, right,” Helga replied. Her brow furrowed. “You don’t pay for clothes you’re expected to live and work in, at least not here. Your necessities are covered. Room and board.”

I looked around the room, then at the box of food in my hand, then at Helga, still confused. I thought of how many workers I saw in the canteen. That couldn’t have even been all of them. Brock Station was at least twice the size of the station I came from. She paid for everyone? Wouldn’t her profits take a huge hit? 

“What?” I asked. It was all I could muster.

“This is another Frontier-Ulthea difference,” Helga explained. “I make plenty off ship repair fees, docking fees, trade deals… Well, it’s a big list. Though, I should say, you’ll pretty much get the same treatment at most other Frontier stations, at least room and board. As for the uniforms, I just like organization.”

This would take some processing. Something in me rebelled at the idea of just being given everything I needed. It didn’t feel like I earned it, or even deserved it. All I had done so far was nearly die and eat up a ton of medical supplies, which I still hadn’t paid for, and now I had a free wardrobe, free food, and a free room. 

Helga noticed the growing guilt and discomfort on my face. With a small huff, she leaned a shoulder against the wall next to me. “Hey. I get what you’re going through. It may help you to know that your labor is already paying for all of this. Pretend I’m giving you a higher wage, it just won’t show the deductions on your paystubs.”

Her small red eyes twinkled. I frowned and looked away. Again with the teasing. “Fine. Thank you,” I said. “When is my first day?”

“Next week–” Helga started, then raised a finger when I opened my mouth to object, “–with orientation and basics of Brock Station in two days. In the meantime, you can wander around, get to know the place. There’s maps all over, you can’t get lost.”

I shut my mouth and nodded grudgingly. Familiarizing myself with my workplace was kind of a good idea, I had to admit. Plus I could take some time to visit Benni. It had been way too long since the only visit I had with it. Did ship AI get worried? Or did its sleep mode just turn it off for a while? Either way–

Blessed take me, Helga had asked me another question. I tried to remember what it was, but I just couldn’t. With a wince, I said, “Sorry, what was that?”

She looked as though she were about to scold me again, but just shook her head with a smile and a sigh. “It’s fine, you’re tired. Just asked if you needed anything else?”

“Oh, no, thank you,” I said. “I… I really appreciate everything you’ve done.”

“It’s nothing,” Helga said with a shrug. “Honestly, I’m pretty lucky getting an Ulthean on the payroll, so it evens out.”

I raised an eyebrow at that, but she waved it off. “I’ll leave you be,” she said. “Enjoy your rest, and be sure to eat first.”

With a final wave, she ducked out of the room and lumbered away. The door shut automatically after a few seconds, and I was left alone. I looked around my new room again. Clean, well maintained, no sign of previous habitation. Almost sterile, but the bedsheet and desk were a similar shade of burnt orange, which offered some color. It was… quiet. Just the gentle hum of the ventilation system. Without Helga in here with me, the room felt much emptier. I hadn’t realized how comforting her presence had been until it was gone.